Social space plays a crucial role in the development of our personality, as the direction of our development is determined by the expectations of other people and our desire to meet those expectations. That is how we become a part of a collective, social space called society, and society receives its special nature from the culture it represents.
The book of our personal history is written in
this social space, and our identity is built upon the foundation of our
personal history. We are surrounded by other people, and their expectations and
requirements are present in our mind when we are alone. Most people do not
understand the difference between solitude and being lonely. Being alone is at
the same time loneliness for us. The two
words, however, mean two different situations. Solitude is the state of the
mind, whereas being alone is the state of the Consciousness.
In the isolated state of consciousness of
Ego-dominated mind we do not like to be alone, when we are alone, we think we
are lonely, we find it difficult to tolerate, we try to avoid it. How we do it,
depends on our temper and personal attitudes.
Extroverted people focus primarily on social
life. When we are alone, we seek friends, go to parties, because we like to
share our pleasures and sorrows with others.
Introverted people, on the other hand, tolerate
loneliness much better, they like to be alone. They turn towards their internal
world (thoughts and emotions). They are not alone, though, as other people are
present in their mind in the form of their opinions and expectations. When they
turn inward, they talk, argue with the opinions of others, and analyze the
reactions of others.
For an external observer, an introverted person might seem to be alone, but there is usually a whole little group in the head of the person. When an introverted person is alone, they try to find some activity to occupy themselves in order to avoid the unpleasant feelings that come with loneliness. They are capable of watching TV for hours, or use work as an escape route.
For an external observer, an introverted person might seem to be alone, but there is usually a whole little group in the head of the person. When an introverted person is alone, they try to find some activity to occupy themselves in order to avoid the unpleasant feelings that come with loneliness. They are capable of watching TV for hours, or use work as an escape route.
Why do people so desperately run away from
loneliness, from being alone?
Because we do not know ourselves, so we do not like being alone. When we are lonely, we must face the fact that our entire personality is pretence, and our whole identity is built upon false foundations.
Because we do not know ourselves, so we do not like being alone. When we are lonely, we must face the fact that our entire personality is pretence, and our whole identity is built upon false foundations.
Even if these sentences are not formulated so
specifically in our mind when we are on our own, the anxiety and depression
overcoming us signify that there is something wrong with us. We feel lonely, so
we escape so as to find shelter in the company of others or in our own thoughts
from the negative emotions.
We feel lonely because we are full of insistence. We insist on our personal identity, our own history, in which the main roles are always played by others. Solitude is a menace to the foundations of our identity.
We feel lonely because we are full of insistence. We insist on our personal identity, our own history, in which the main roles are always played by others. Solitude is a menace to the foundations of our identity.
It is true that during our life we are often
surrounded by other people, and we live our life as members of the society, but
deep inside we remain separate, isolated individuals for the whole of our life.
Very deep inside we are born alone, live alone and we die alone. Being alone
like that is a state we interpret as solitude.
Only the awakening of
the Consciousness is capable of putting an end to that sense of solitude rooted
in our original isolation. Only when we have experienced that Miracle, do we
recognize that loneliness is our natural state, in which the independent, still
all-penetrating Presence shines on.
(C) Frank M. Wanderer, 2013-2018
You can republish our articles for free, but please include the author’s name and a link to our homepage (www.frankmwanderer.com)
~From the book: Frank M. Wanderer:
(This book is an anthology, a collection from his most interesting writings.)
CONTENTS
I. THE AWAKENING
Are you Awake?
The Signs of Spiritual Awakening
The Suffering as Wake-Up Call
3 Turning Points During Awakening
3 Gift of the Mindfulness
Be Mindful and Conscious!
The Age of Spiritual Awakening Has Really Begun – New Research Confirms
II. THE SPIRITUAL GROWTH
Who am I Beyond my Personal History?
You are an Immortal Being, Who is Lost in a Separate World
The Secrets of the Spiritual Journey
The Last Chapter of our Personal History
The First Step of the Journey
Are You a Mature Soul?
4 Levels of the Spiritual Growth
The Three Birth of the Human Spirit
Take this Simple Step to Know Your True Self
The Magical Power of the Real Self-Knowledge
Negative Thoughts as a Teacher
The Shadow of Spiritual Growth: the Guilt
Bad Karma–Obstacle or Challenge on the Spiritual Path?
Transform Your Life with the Power of Acceptance
5 Powerful Steps to Emotional Healing
III. THE MIND
Forgotten Purpose of the Mind
The Power of the Conditioned Mind
The Deepest Unconscious Condtionings of the Mind
The Secret of the Constructive Energy
4 Potent Ways of Accessing the Most Creative Forces of Your Mind
Meditation - an Effective Remedy for the Overburdened Mind
Jump into Unknown!
IV. THE EGO
The Ego – Friend or Obstacle?
The Rise and Fall of the Ego
The Tricks of the Spiritual Ego
Is the Ego the World's Biggest Illusion?
Listen to the Message Beyond All Fear and Anger
Tear off Your Mask
The Secrets of The Embrace
V. THE MATRIX
The Spiritual Seeking – Only a Program in the Matrix?
Does Positive Thinking Free Us From the Matrix?
How to Exit the Matrix in 6 Simple Steps?
The Law of Attraction vs. The Law of Oneness
VI.THE CONSCIOUSNESS
The Revolution of Consciousness
How to Live in the Flow of Life
How the Higher Levels of Consciousness may Appear in our Life?
Where is Your Soul on the Path of Consciousness Evolution?
The Power of Solitude
The Lover of the Silence
Magical Power of the Real Meditation
The Secret to Enlightenment: Be Yourself!
About the author:
Frank M. Wanderer Ph.D is a professor of psychology, a consciousness researcher and writer.
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Frank is
also the author of the following books:
- The Revolution of Consciousness — Deconditioning the Programmed Mind
- The Chant of the Heart: Enjoy the Nectar of Being
- The Flames of Alertness: Discover the Power of Consciousness!
- The Biggest Obstacle to
Enlightenment: How to Escape from the Prison of Mind Games?
- and several other books on consciousness and enlightenment.
You can
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He
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Watch this video too!
I feel like everyone is lying all the time. Also, fullfilling other people's expectation is not only exhausting but frustrating too. So being alone beats that any time of day. Loneliness is awesome.
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